| short story |
[19 Feb 2006|09:56pm] |
Driving
I am driving up to spend the weekend with my ex. That little whore. We divorced in ‘97, she took my car. I loved that car. Anyways, I am driving a long drive to come and see her. About a week ago or so or something like that I got a phone call from her after dinner. She wanted to see me again. It has been such a long time. Ten years? I didn’t know what to do. But now I’m driving.
Her name is Jessica. Boring name actually. Actually, I used to love the name. I remember when we got married right after the wedding and all that stuff when we got home we got a dog. I named it Jesse, after my wife. What a good dog, we both liked it so much. That little whore took Jesse too. She was a dog.
I am single now too. Too old to find love I guess. Hell, I’ll never know. I don’t need a woman around anyhow. I ain’t got the money for one, anyway, even if I wanted one. I got sick of them after Jessica. Sick of love, sick of dogs, sick of everything. I lived in my house I rent after the split for about ten years now. It is never as good as my old house. But she got the house too. And my car Damn. I think I loved that car more than her. And she took it from me. The car I have now is an old dodge SUV, you know, one of them sport vehicles that kind of look like trucks. I forgot the name, on the back maybe? I’ll look someday. It suits me just fine. I don’t need that car anyway.
But this is a long drive. I want to see her again because I’m curious of how bad she looks. I haven’t seen that face in forever. Not since she admitted to double crossing me. Damn that guy. I hated the feeling when she first told me. Like a giant knot tied in my stomach, like someone even bigger than me punched me square in the belly. I still remember the feeling, very weird I guess. But she was a whore. I never liked her that much. Well I did I guess. But not anymore. She got the house and car. What more did she want? But now I’m still driving.
I need a drink. Sometimes I’ll find one of them dumpy looking gas stations off the highway or something that looks like it could use some money. You find good weed in those places. Now I don’t drink and drive or smoke or drive. But this drive is so long, you know? Sometimes I’ll do it if my head needs it. This is one of them times I guess. There are no gas stations anywhere. So I’ll just keep driving.
I guess this drive could do me good anyways. I hate my job so much, sometimes it’s just better to get away than to stay in my house all day waiting for the next day to start new. After I get off work I go to my bar and stay there until it’s dark outside. I miss that bar. I didn’t tell any of the guys I left. I’m sure they won’t care. Tony has bigger problems than I got anyhow. I can’t think this stuff, it gets me angry if I can’t drink now anyway. Where are the gas stations? No signs either. I hope it’s close.
I hope she lives in a trailer. She always hated those people, but I’d laugh so hard if she was one of them people now. I’d laugh in her whore face. But I don’t know. She gave me the address over the phone. I don’t’ know where the hell it is. But she gave me some landmarks and stuff like that, you know to find my place around the city so I can find her. Damn landmarks, what if I can’t find them? I drove too far now to get lost in this damn city. I am here now. I hope this is a dumpy city. Looks like it. I’d laugh if it was.
1013 Piedmont drive. This is it. It’s not a trailer. At least it wasn’t one of them goddamned gated neighborhoods or anything. I’d ram the damn gate But I think it’s got a pool. I never had a pool. This house is a lot bigger than my old one. Ten years though will make the memory foggy. Maybe it’s not bigger? There are lots of flowers in the front yard leading up to that god-awful red door. She always liked the flowers. Personally I thought they looked too dumb to stick anywhere around my house. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have no red door. But this is it. I’ll think I’ll ring the doorbell. Or should I knock? No, it’s better to ring I guess.
Is that a smiles she’s greeting me with? No, it couldn’t be. Whores can’t smile. I don’t want her to hug me. Why did I even come? This is a bad mistake.
“It’s been so long... please come in. It’s nice to see you again.”
But then the alarm clock breaks in...
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| "nobody puts matty in the corner" |
[08 Jan 2006|03:08am] |
if i recover
from medication
please don't take it personally
if looks could kill, you aimed the crosshairs
but im still alive, im still alive
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| blank canvas nights |
[05 Dec 2005|08:15pm] |
blank canvas nights
I held you tight
no one else was home
we took a drive
to the shoreside
and skipped rocks in the snow
now years have passed
and stories fade
like the waning tides
but in my dreams of canvas nights
you're still by my side
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[13 Nov 2005|10:44pm] |
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fuck high school girls. wait, no fuck all high schoolers. and some college people too. why can't everyone just be normal and smart. I swear Im fucking leaving this asshole country and moving to china where no one can find me. I hope you all burn in hell even though there is no hell. religion is a facade. so is capitalism. without these things, americans would waste their meaningless lives away until they get old, take pills, and eventually die. You are all blinded. Yes you. so take your fucking aspirin and coca cola. In 120 years, no one will remember your sorry asses anyway. Save your kids the trouble of paying for your funeral and kill yourself now. bitches. I said just die.
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| flight 601 |
[09 Nov 2005|12:15am] |
i landed on the runway
a quarter after 12
you waited at the terminal
this airport's shot to hell
i told you all my secrets
you gave me your car keys
I left the front door open
you had me at your knees
I lit another cigarette
I burned another bridge
I put the car in neutral
and drove it off a ridge
the airbags all inflated
the gas tank caught afire
if we go down together
we both go down a liar
cuz i am the fire
and you are the furniture
the temperature's getting hotter
but i know it's not what you'd prefer
I landed on the runway
in a Massachusetts storm
the luggage claim was empty
the terminal was warm
I read over your letter
i tried hard to relate
but what used to be empathy
has slowly turned to hate
a thousand burnt out matches
a thousand poems wrote
could never match the beauty
underneath your coat
i know you have your reasons
but the hour's getting late
so pack away your suitcase
I'll meet you at the gate
cuz i am the fire
and you are the furniture
the temperature's getting hotter
but i know it's not what you'd prefer
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| nostalgia in the key of C |
[07 Nov 2005|06:32pm] |
here is my confession
i have an obsession with you
and the things we used to do
riding with the windows down
as the florida sun
pierces through our windows
and leaves our skin a crimson red
all the notes you wrote me and the mixtapes went along
third eye blind and sugar ray, the list goes on and on
they leave me the memories of cloudy autumn days
but as the sun warmed up the season, it all just died away
show me in a photograph
what you mean to me
they say a picture speaks 1000 words
but only if you're listening
and i can't hear a word
i can't hear a sound
so sweety shut the door
and slowly kiss me as i hit the ground
this nightmare
is my life story
and this room
is purgatory
and i've know i've done you wrong
and i will die for my sins
you can kiss me you can kill me
but i swear you'll never win
I've lost all my direction
as well as my affection for you
and the things i put you through
sex can be a weapon, and sincerity a knife
to form a potent daggar that I used to take your life
so long to the memories, i drank them all away
as well as my emotions that i put on for display
I'll take this aspirin down, to take away the pain
and curse the thousand times before i said your name in veign
this nightmare
is my life story
and this room
is purgatory
and i've know i've done you wrong
and i will die for my sins
you can kiss me you can kill me
but i swear you'll never win
and i dont know
what were you thinking? what was i thinking?
and I don't know what i even did
come back to me come back to me
ill treat you like a queen
ill buy you roses ill buy you diamonds
ill give you anything
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| sunday skyline part II |
[06 Nov 2005|09:50pm] |
"look at the sky."
It turns shades of twisting purple and blue
the color of your lips in sweatshirt weather.
you tilt your head back as i kiss you slowly, your hair getting tangled in my mouth
as i spit it out with words ive been holding back.
this is an autobiographical sunset.
the characters are real, it just hasnt happened yet
somewhere in the future maybe... maybe
the sky gets dark as you take your glasses off.
they fall on the damp concrete and shatter.
I glance up. and it all just
fades away.
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| midwestern love song |
[02 Nov 2005|05:03pm] |
the sunday skyline looks so
dead in your eyes
and the wind that blows through your hair now
comes as a surprise
you glance at me and smile
but your happiness is gone
since the last time you felt stronger
its been so long
so maybe this is for the best
nothing gold can last forever
and maybe this is all a test
next time you'll do much better
and if i asked you not to say
would you stay with me anyway?
and waste time until we grow older
and slowly decay
and never come home...
this midwestern town's so empty
this street looks so plain
it's changed alot since we were both kids
back in the old days
now we both have separate lives
it took off so fast
we left our hopes and ambitions
stuck in the past
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| for love or money |
[01 Nov 2005|11:29am] |
the stock market crashed
and it all went to shit
25 years of expectations
flew out the door
yeah its never coming back
but maybe a stroke or a nice heart attack
might kill you
and monetary gain will fill you
with the blackest sins you could ever commit
you just open your checkbook like you don't give a shit
he came back on a saturday
overcast sky turned black at night
no stars came out
there were only streetlights
shining a path to the front door
he unpacked his suitcase and came in
the smell reminded him of past lives
back when money yeah didn't mean a thing
and happiness couldn't be bought or sold
in a market
filled with disease and corruption
back when people would cry if you died
before so many turned a life full of crime
he died drunk on a sunday
burried in a plastic coffin
six feet in the ground, yeah it was such a shame
but i guess he had it comin
with eyes full of dollar signs
and shiny new bills in his pocket
when his flesh decayed away
coins were left in his eye sockets
and it might kill you
monetary gain will fill you
with the blackest sins you could ever commit
so just open your checkbook like you don't give a shit
yeah I don't give a shit
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|
| alchemy |
[20 Oct 2005|03:03pm] |
(chorus)
like alchemy you change me
like alcohol you fade me
into the blackest night
you're chemicals on paper
water filled with saline
I'll be sweating sweet tonight
(verse 1)
and no one knows
how my time
has been spent
and no one knows
that I'm empty
so vacant
and when i trip
and when i fall
straight on my face
i wish you were
just like me
take my place
like alchemy you change me
like alcohol you fade me
into the blackest night
you're chemicals on paper
water filled with saline
I'll be sweating sweet tonight
(verse 2)
cuz late last night
i had a nightmare, had a dream
in my swimming pool
you were shapeless
you were chlorine
I invited you inside
"take a chair
have a drink"
then i wasted you away
and poured the rest
into the sink
(bridge)
and all the promises were lies
bloodshot eyes
and broken ties
and all the promises were lies
bloodshot eyes
and broken ties
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| a black tabby housecat, a bottle of zanex |
[19 Oct 2005|08:20pm] |
ok so who thinks the bravery totally ripped of action action? meeeeeeeeeeeee
I went into the ghetto today to visit about 5 pawn shops.
I finally found a nice-ass fender acoustic in the last one.
I'm happy.
spread them loves
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| we're all sluts, cheap products |
[16 Oct 2005|04:24am] |
(-) interupted good dreams
(+) guitars at thrift shops
(+) coke slurpees
(-) massive credit card dept
(+) green tea at 7-11
(+) expresso drinks and casee
(+) late night adult swim
(-) late night insomnia
(+) bjs
i love you. goodnight.
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| malheureux frequencia |
[09 Oct 2005|05:14pm] |
"I am static," She exclaimed.
The dial on the dashboard FM said it all.
102.1 -- liberation frequency.
He tried not to listen with ears wide shut.
Seizures in his seat! His eyes white and ecstatic.
"Don't be afraid,"
What?
"I am static."
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| untitled |
[08 Oct 2005|10:34pm] |
"memory"
last night I had a dream of you
you were dressed in burning white
your touch was hot, your senses bright
our conversation was a blur
You kissed me like you said you'd kiss me
way back when I'd dream of kissing you
with my eyes closed
on the east coast
I wish for the stars to burn out again
and with my eyes closed
I'll hold you close
and sleep alone tonight
my memory is such a tragedy
your photographs replay a symphony
nostalgic sounds they're ripped away from me
I waited patiently, it's such a tragedy
last night I had a dream of you
you were dressed in midnight black
a shape of a cross on your back
your heart was beating like a timebomb
there was no one else around
I lit the fuse, I hit the ground for you
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| give peace a chance |
[08 Oct 2005|02:35am] |
my brother has come home now
returning from the war
to pay college tuition
on another foreign shore
I asked him how he took it
and with a smile and a nod
he said we couldnt lose a battle
on the side of the real god
he told me about his stories
and the scar upon his head
and i think he cried a little
when he told me john was dead
he said a bullet shot him
went striaght through half his face
but he thought it would be worth it
to save the human race
follow the leader
liberation breeder
search and destroy
missle deploy
my brother has come home now
he says the war is done
but I never got the answer
which side has lost or won
he told me to be patient
"you'll see it all someday
when democracy is reigning
down on pagan dissarray"
with bullets in his pocket
and money in the bank
he bought a brand new red mercedes
and a brand new armored tank
he said with good intention
don't worry about the price
you'd be surprised how much it gets you
in the name of jesus christ
follow the leader
american breeder
search and destroy
missle deploy
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| get my drunk on... words to get sunk on |
[03 Oct 2005|07:48pm] |
heavy like a heart I'ma sink like a stone
this is a fucking coup de tat
and your fucking overthrown
I don't do (inter)views (so don't ask questions)
this is m2k signing out in my fashion (peace)
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| prodigies never die... |
[03 Oct 2005|04:18pm] |
"Calligraphy Pen"
reflections in the mirror
burning veins into my eyes
now they're bloodshot and aggresive
this sinking ship has now capseized
this anxiety is reckless
it spills words onto my chest
and my senses are growing numb
with every single passing breath
I took my poison words and turned this knife into a pen
but the paper was torn and ripped and i had nowhere to begin
so ill write this final chapter in my book of all your lies
i read it twice before but the ending still comes as a surprise
(chorus)
so take this manuscript
I wrote it down with a calligraphy pen
and take these broken words
I'll be burning all my bridges once again
so take this rusted knife
and plunge the dagger straight into my chest
if I was born to be like you
I'd end up torn and bruised like all the rest
reflections in the mirror
unfold these flaws before my eyes
they tell a story of betrayal and of broken alibis
my self-esteem is glistening like shards of broken glass
and my ambition is in healing, a broken arm into a cast
you're the only one I know of who'll turn this story to a song
and I would tell you all my feelings if they didn't come out wrong
but I'll leave you with an epitaph, a final goodbye kiss
I'll skip the minor details, you're a checkmark on my list
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| fuck emo, I write rap now |
[03 Oct 2005|01:14am] |
crack aint no sugar baby
it's like white powder maybe
I'll just take a lick
put yo mouth up on my dick and just
blow baby blow
sniff that coke up in yo brain
we gon' fuck we gon' fuck
cuz baby we like crack cocaine
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